Wednesday, March 14, 2007
im not happy.. yes.. im telling you guys im not happy.. im not happy with me.. im feel so exhausted with ma life.. its like im living for nothing.. i dun even noe.. feel like ended ma life.. but i noe thats not the way out of it.. people will think that what trouble could i face since im not werking or schooling or wateva it is.. i could smile or laugh but in ma heart there somethink tat piercing into ma heart.. it really hurts me.. i could go crazy if this go on.. im so stress..
thinking of taking that stuff would make me feel so good.. yes it did.. but only for a couple of hour..after taking it i have a very good sleep.. a sleep like a baby who has no worries after getting up the next morning.. but when i woke up everyday.. first thing that i thought was "what ma day would be today?"
i was lying on ma bed when the thought of taking it came across ma mind.. its was a moment of ma stupidity that i took half of it.. the first day was great.. i sleep like a baby.. no one realised that i was high tat day.. 2nd day.. i finish the half of it.. talking to kamal.. asking me what happend to me.. told him nothing happend.. he kind of person who noe that people has problem through the way of them speak.. the voice.. i told him im juz sleepy.. and yes.. im so damn sleepy because i took the last half.. and today.. he got to noe the reason why i sleep early yesterday..
kamal mad at me and i dun blame him.. he has every right to be mad at me or scold me or wateva it is as hes ma guy and i noe that he care for me.. tell you the truth i will be speechless if we talk tonight.. i dun noe how to tell you.. all i would be doing is juz shut up.. you noe that whenever i did something wrong all i did was shut up.. hopefully u read this blog before we talk tonight.. and im sorry for not sharing ma problem with ya.. theres some problem that could be share and theres some that could never be share with anione..
well guys.. i realised that i did something wrong and i admit it.. i will never touch it again.. i do feel tempted to try it again but i promise that i will control the feeling of having it again..
6:47 PM
